evangelism? no thanks.

A few years ago, during a visit home, my husband and I joined some friends for their small group Bible study. That night they were taking a spiritual gifts assessment to better understand how God designed them. We all could have probably told each other the top results without the test. That wasn’t a surprising revelation. What was a surprise was my very bottom gift… my lowest rung… my least dominant gift. The thing I pretty much have none of:

Evangelism.

There we were, the support-raising missionaries. The ones following in the footsteps of Paul, Peter and Jesus Himself! The ones who had The Great Commission as their career. The ones who were asking these very people to get out a checkbook and help pave the way for the Gospel to go forth! We tested ZERO at Evangelism.

Lucky for us these were good friends and we all belly-laughed at the Non-Evangelistic Missionaries.

The questions on the assessment sounded something like this:

“Do you love walking up to new people to start a fresh conversation about Jesus?”

Umm no. That feels awkward.

“Do you get excited at the opportunity to join the next mission trip?”

Nope. The time, money, and logistical details overwhelm me. Definitely not excited.

“Do you find yourself sharing the Gospel with people on a regular basis?”

Insert Christian-Shame here. Well, I should be doing that. And as a missionary I should be doing that a LOT more than I am!

And while we could laugh with our friends, my mind began to swirl with doubts and confusion. Maybe I was completely wrong about what God had said. Maybe our family wasn’t supposed to be missionaries at all. Maybe we were completely unqualified. Maybe we were really bad… really really bad missionaries.

But then came the gentle whisper that I love so much. His soft sweet voice spoke the kindest words…

“You may not love evangelism. But you really love ME. And that’s enough.”

And there started my journey. Along the way I’ve found plenty of traveling companions - others whose hearts are captivated by a Savior. Others who believe Jesus actually is the best answer to every circumstance. And yet we met in the lobby, sneaking out early from Missions Sunday. We collided together crossing the street to avoid the tract-handing Bullhorn man on the corner. We found that together we cringed together at the word Evangelism but we were passionate to meet the least of these with the LOVE we found. So we set out on a journey to find God’s heart for His people and reclaim what it means to share the Really Good News.

Child by Latimer Bowen